Tuesday 25 October 2016

Should the man always pay in a relationship ? -- answered by Ritambhara Sahni

Should the man always pay on a date when in a relationship??

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This article is for females only to understand men better ,  get the man you want more attracted to you and create a great relationship.
So, when my dad and me - Ritambhara Sahni use to teach at our finishing school years back. A lot of females would ask us these question .....
- Who pays on the 1st date or who should usually pay ?
-  Or should it be dutch ? 
-  What happens once you are in the relation with the man ? Then who pays ?
- Should he ask you to contribute each time ? 
- Should i take charge at times ? 

There was always that confusion there.

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Should the man always pay in a relationship by Ritambhara Sahni

Well, In the 70's and 80's in India we were brought up with a mindset that the man is the provider and the woman looks after the house. So it was understood by many women that the man always pays and she never really needs to pay. But she needs to look after him and his family and be a good housewife.  Also women having their careers was considered taboo in so many families and was never appreciated. That was the mindset then.

Today we are in 2016...a lot has changed. In majority of families girls having a career is a must. So one good thing is that now girls do have a career and can be potential providers. Now a days both men and women have careers and married couples who work hire domestic help and continue to live their lives with their careers. However, in terms of dating the above mindset remains the same that the guy always has to pay and be the provider irrespective of the girl having her career :). Also on the flip side many houses have females who work and look after the house. So they are providers and housewives. - Both unfair right ?? read ahead....

Well, money is a necessity of course but not everything but it changes the way people think and it changes relationships. So yes , I think this REALLY matters, so please do keep an open mind as you read ahead. However  the bottom line of this article is only to get the man you want more attracted to you and make the relationship last.

The reason why every man should pay on the 1st date as said by many love guru's for men is because he is asking the lady out and he wants to make her feel special. Also when a man decides to split the bill on the 1st date then the impression a female gets is that he does not want to look at her more than a friend but just a buddy. Also if he makes the girl pay when he asks her out then any girl would get switched off and infact feel insulted. She would feel insulted as he asked her on a date to make her feel special and he wanted to spend time with her and she accepted. So yes on date 1 if he has asked her out is given that he should pay.

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 However, according to the survey done in the recent years your behavior on the 1st date matters A LOT. We surveyed many men and there were many men who were so turned off by a woman’s attitude towards money that they instantly switched off from her only because of her attitude with money.
This is a controversial question for some ....i agree to that as well...but read ahead...
So years back and even as of today as we ask this question to so many females that who should be paying in the relationship ? The answer of majority of  women always is that - THE MAN SHOULD PAY :).  Like he is the man , he is the gentleman he should pay. in today's time if i ask females this question that will you do anything that your man or any guy you are on a date with or have been dating asks you to do ?
Ans:....some said depends and most of the women said 'NO' - they wont. They will only do something when both agree. The most important word here is 'BOTH'.

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 on love and relationships

I'm sorry to break today's reality to you but this is really unfair. If you feel that a guy always should pay, you are indirectly asking him to pay to be with you. And what you are definitely saying is that - ' This relationship isn't equal'. You are saying - ' I am worth more than you and thats why you should pay for it. Thats the message you are actually giving.
On a date if you do not offer to pay at least your share , according to me - Ritambhara Sahni and the surveys done all these years it would truly be inappropriate.  If the man does not pay, then that is absolutely inappropriate . Most men said that they would love to pay but they said that if the woman just does not offer to pay every time, they would not want to be dating them.

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Girls, the reality and the truth is that you need to treat your partner just like you would treat your best buddie. ...that is your best friend. You cannot differentiate how you would treat your best friend and boyfriend in this aspect. You wouldn't tell your best friend that whenever we go out...its you whose always going to be paying. You treat your best friend as an equal , so why not your boyfriend. Maybe you do less...but at least you contribute like a friend.
Also i have been asked this question by many girls that my guy makes me pay always...he never pays.
Well, if the guy expects you to pay always ...its the same thing ...he thinks he is more worth it than you ..

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If your guy plans on a vacation and you can contribute for some part of the vacation, you should put that foot forward. Because what means the most to a guy that you are making an effort to contribute and to be together as a team. When you will not make an effort to contribute , the guy is definitely going to feel used just like your friend would if you would do this with her. A good , confident and self respecting man will feel he is being taken advantage of if the girl does not contribute. This really does not have anything to do with money - but a lack of gesture.
When your in a relationship, treat the relationship just like a relationship with your best friend.

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  1. Nice post! I agree with you. :)

    1. Thank you so much, really makes me happy when someone appreciates my work. Thank you so so much once again :)