Saturday 26 November 2016

Alone and not Lonely by Ritambhara Sahni

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Ritambhara Sahni on being alone and not lonely


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Ritambhara Sahni on being Happy

When people ask me if i am married or not. They are extremely shocked with my answer. Some of them even look at me in pity. I find this really funny. 

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Ritambhara Sahni- happiness in being alone 

I'm single by choice, in fact i'm really happy and good on my own. I totally believe that only if there is someone who makes you really happy than you already are and you do the same for him then it is worth it to be with that person else i'm good on my own. I'm absolutely proud to be single.

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A lot of people i feel are confused between being alone and loneliness. Although they bring you to the same physical state, there is a distinct difference between the two in terms of emotions.
Here are a few differences that’ll help you identify being alone from being lonely.

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Ritambhara Sahni blog

1.. Loneliness and being alone lead to isolation for sure but loneliness is felt at a point when you really dint expect that and you cant get that back either. eg. the loss of a loved one and being alone is finding freedom in isolation. 

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Alone is full power from within - Ritambhara Sahni blog

I lived with my father. He never really use to keep well, so I was always by his side. I loved my father so much but when i lost him in 2014 all of a sudden i felt shattered and lonely. However, my brother said to me that i have done everything in my capacity to look after my father and there is nothing i could have done more. His time had come to go. However, he said that now i am free from a responsibility and can go ahead and live my life and do everything i ever wanted to do. My brother helped me to find my freedom in isolation and made me realize that i am only alone and not lonely at that point in time. From a sense of emotional abandon and disconnect I got myself to a state of physical and mental freedom and connected more with myself.

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2 You can cry and hide or you can laugh for no reason.
I decided to be so busy and yes i actually had to tell myself to forget about my father completely. Every time i would think of my father i would get busy and divert my mind. It was not easy but i did so. Whenever a loved one leaves you naturally or unnaturally and their is point of no return, the best thing to do is never to look back as the more you do that you will end up hurting you and lead you to a point to feel lonely. Of course i have not forgotten my father. Its been 2 years and i have written so much about him and my relationship with him. I have realized that he is in a happy place somewhere and i a feel strong and powerful on my own today and i have his strength always within me. I could have chosen to cry and hide but i chose to be occupied and laugh for no reason which i have loved doing ever since childhood.

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2. Loneliness is depending on someone else for happiness and sometimes you end up blaming yourself for it but when you are alone , the happiness is your own and it only comes from loving yourself. When we try to find happiness outside of us , we are dependent for happiness elsewhere and it means we cannot be happy on our own. You are longing and feeling bad for someone or something that does not exist rather than enjoying and being happy with what you have. Somewhere you have the fear that if you don't have someone with you, what will happen. People tell me you must have a partner as what would you do in old age. One of us has to die before the other. I would feel really bad either ways. I'm glad i looked after my dad until the end but when he died , he died suddenly, i was not at home that day. Even if i had children, we don't know what happens at the end. I would not want a family today to support me then. I would want a partner only if we make each other happier than we are. I'm peaceful and happy alone and content from within and i simply follow my heart each time.

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Embrace the freedom in being alone by Ritambhara Sahni

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Happiness is inside of us - Ritambhara Sahni blog

The day you start to know yourself is the day you will start to be happy from within and enjoy being alone.

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  1. Came across your post on a group on Facebook.

    You are so correct when you say being alone and loneliness are two separate things. By being alone, you can independently discover and experience so many different things like going on a trek, discovering books of a brilliant author, meeting new people or cultivating new hobbies. We believe we'll be happy and we will get all the happiness, not to mention enough friends who'll not let us be alone...

    1. Hey Arunabha Acharya....feels good when someone takes the time out to read about me and my work and send me their views here. i do wait to know the views of people at the other end as well. Im so happy my dear you agree with what i have to say and from you words i believe you have experienced the power and joy in being alone :). I have also discovered myself as i wrote about the same and i feel more powerful and happy than ever. Thank you so much once again for your message in the comment here. Means a lot to hear from new people across the globe :)

  2. This is beautiful. I love the honesty in your words.

    1. Hey this really means a lot GingerGoose and thank you so so very much :) Feels good when someone appreciates your work and life.